Children's self-esteem determines the image they have of themselves and is associated with a number of behaviors in both childhood and adulthood. For example, a child who thinks that he will fail an exam is more likely not to even try. Similarly, a child who considers himself a good friend will develop more social skills and will feel more comfortable in social transactions. So the image we have of ourselves seems to significantly affect the life we will live.
The nature of self-esteem Self-esteem is considered to some degree innate. That is, there are some innate characteristics that are present at birth and develop depending on the child's parenting conditions. But to a greater extent, self-esteem is influenced and shaped by the child's interaction with important others, by failures in various areas of his life, by his talents, abilities and general personality.
How do we help children build their self-esteem? Parents are the most important people in a child's life. It is therefore essential that they show him positive appreciation and acceptance. A child needs to know that they will love him even if he makes mistakes and that the appreciation he receives is deeper and does not depend on whether he did well in math or if he is a basketball champion. Parents who spend time with their child in activities, make him feel important and valuable and help him develop a safe sense of self. Related to the above is the ability of parents to actively listen.
Parents need to listen carefully to the child's experiences, concerns, worries and opinions without interrupting or diminishing his or her feelings by telling him or her how to feel. In this way they teach him to trust and accept himself. The expectations and limits they set also play an important role in the development of the child's self-esteem. When parents have high but reasonable demands on their children's behavior, then they will respond without difficulty and will develop a sense of competence.
Also, when they know what is allowed and what is forbidden, they feel safe and have greater tendencies to explore and experiment. Parents also need to provide children with opportunities for success through activities that meet their interests and abilities. These opportunities will be a compensatory factor for any failures in other areas. But whatever the effect of the child's actions, it is important to praise the effort.
The praise that follows an achievement should be based on reality and describe exactly why it is given. E.g. "I like the way you made your bed, the way you laid the pillows" and not "well done for tidying up your room". Finally, it is important to educate children in developing problem management skills. Parents who run to save their children from their mistakes teach them that they are not capable of solving their own problems and reinforce their dependence and inability to take responsibility.
So when a child has a problem, we need to encourage them to find the solution on their own and apply it. We can discuss with him various alternatives and evaluate them. The child who manages to solve a problem on his own will feel good about himself and will believe in his abilities.
